turtles can talk

People who believe that the authoritative voices on what happened in 1st-century Judea are 21st-century Americans, not 1st-century Jews... would probably take great offense if you told them that you understood their life experiences better than they did.

People who believe that translating texts from ancient Hebrew or Greek into contemporary English is a straightforward process with clear and indisputable results... are usually also people who will refuse to watch a Shakespeare play on the grounds that 400-year-old English is too hard to understand.

The Supreme Court says that, for purposes of First Amendment rights, corporations are people too.

So many questions this raises. Will corporations be able to vote? If you bar a corporate merger, is it denying corporations the right to marry? If one corporation puts another one out of business, is it guilty of murder? How will corporations be counted in the census? (The population of Delaware is about to shoot up.)

Contempt for the ideas of foreigners has become a staple of right-wing American politics; in fact, the doctrine seems to go beyond "foreign opinions are irrelevant" and into contrariness for its own sake: "if it's popular in other countries, then I don't like it."

... which makes me wonder, don't you guys have any foreign friends? Come to think of it, I think the answer is probably generally "No". Has anybody done an actual study on political attitudes vs. cross-national friendships?

And then, is it chicken or egg? Do people become contemptuous of foreigners because they don't know any, or do they fail to befriend any because of their contempt?

I buried my cat Kumba in the woods behind our house on Sunday. There are lots of cats in and around our house, but she alone has always been My Cat.  She died Saturday afternoon of a lung tumor we'd known nothing about; Friday morning she seemed just sick enough to merit scheduling a Saturday checkup.

I am really surprised by how broken up I am over this. I thought I'd cried myself out at the vet, but burying her was even worse.  She still looked so beautiful, exquisite; still dense, soft fur, precise markings, velvety ears.  I'm still groaning, "My cat... my cat..."

She was a small, slender, graceful cat, a half-ocicat from the shelter in Sacramento.  She was shy and skittish, she never lost her animal nature, her wildness; she always seemed a creature for jungles and savannas.  But, when lured into a neck-scratching, she would drop into a hypnosis of pleasure and give the richest, warmest purr I've heard in my life.  I once wrote of herI was startled when I added up the years and the vet called her "geriatric".  She never seemed old.  I'd had no idea our time with her was running out.  I'm grateful that she lived healthily until she died, and for the thousands of days we had.  But oh, God, it hurts.  I want her back so much.

One fact just transformed me from strong GMO proponent to strong opponent.

Seed companies use intellectual property laws to censor research on their products.

I've always suspected GMO opponents were motivated partially by irrational fear of science. But it turns out that the seed companies are afraid of science, afraid enough to use legal means to suppress research. (I bet the tobacco companies feel REALLY stupid for not thinking of this.)

Are genetically modified organisms dangerous? Well, the companies that produce them believe that they are, and that censoring research is a necessity. What more authoritative condemnation could there be?

It works! I meant to just try it out on a bush or two when I went out to feed the horses. Three hours later...

I'll never see the inside of a gym again.

If you have a lot of non-native bushes to uproot, I highly recommend it!

My Heavy Weed Wrench has arrived. Tonight, late in the night, I assemble it and quietly test the mechanism. It's the heaviest hand tool I've ever owned, heavier than a sledgehammer or a Collins axe or a chainsaw. I carry it with both hands. It feels like power. It feels like vengeance.

I want the sun to rise.

I know a lot of people who want to stop fighting in Afghanistan immediately. I'm actually very hazy about what they're suggesting. I assume it's not simply "withdraw everybody and let the dice fall where they may" - or is it? I can't tell. I haven't heard what the alternate suggestions are.

After the Soviets invaded Afghanistan, we got involved enough to make sure everything there got broken. Once the Soviets left, we lost interest and basically forgot about it. That's why the Taliban exists.

In 2001, we got involved again, for a year or so; then we lost interest and sent all but a skeleton crew off to Iraq. That's how the Taliban got its second lease on life.

Among people who want to end the war immediately, are there any suggestions for how to keep it from becoming a third round of "America loses interest - Afghanistan goes to hell"?

I'm very much in favor of President Obama's plan. "Surge, then draw down" seems to be working pretty well in Iraq, despite strenuous complaints from doves who hated sending more troops AND hawks who hated a preannounced drawdown plan. You could object that expecting the same strategy to work twice in two different countries is simplistic, but it's the only strategy I know under consideration that isn't, in fact, a proven failure.

One thing I'd really like to add to Obama's strategy, though. I want a dedicated war tax. I can't endure any more "I think this war is worth other people losing their lives for; however, I don't want it to cost me any money." That attitude should be left behind with the rest of W's legacy.

I think my Japanese studies are going OK, for a self-teaching project done in little spare scraps of time. I've even got a good start on the kanji.

However, I've suddenly realized that there is no sane reason for me to learn this. I'll probably have one or two short visits to Japan in my life, to a family that speaks English. My Japanese will never be as good as the English of nearly every Japanese adult.

It's just like with my German. What is it with me and pointless learning?

All I'm left with is "I enjoy it, it puts wrinkles in my brain, and it staves off Alzheimer's". But you could say that about almost anything. How does that make me any different from, say, people who memorize reams of sports statistics? Where's the opportunity for snobbiness? My ego depends on maintaining a fragile illusion of intellectual superiority, and this looks useless for buttressing it.

The brain is the paper; the soul is the story.

Let's play a little game. Find the text I have inserted into this well-known parable.

And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?

He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?

And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.

But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?

And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he said unto himself, "Lo, each shall seek coverage for his medical expenses in the private market; I shall not tolerate socialism." And he passed by on the other side.

And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and said unto himself, "Behold! A preexisting condition!" And he passed by on the other side.

But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him, And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.

Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?

And he said, He that shewed mercy on him.

Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.

Morse code is the only one-dimensional written language. Even though spoken language propagates just fine through one spatial dimension - or, converted to an electrical signal, through a one-dimensional wire. Hmm.

You can buy $1 coins in bulk from the mint!

That's so full of awesome! Er - I mean - Zounds! A box brimful o' treasure awaits in me mailbox!

I guess I'll be working on my church's website after all. I should have known I wouldn't be able to stay away.

I'm really surprised to learn that neither the United Methodist denomination nor the West Ohio conference supplies either server space or subdomain names for member congregations. If I were them, I'd set up a central server and give congregations domain names like umc.org/townsvilleumc - that would cost vastly less than each congregation renting their own from private vendors. Ah well. Maybe they're afraid of being held responsible for embarrassing content posted by the odd addled webmaster of Whackoville United Methodist.

Staying the night in Wawa, Ontario, far short of our intended destination for the night. I am enjoying this trip even more than I had hoped.

WOW the east shore of Superior is BEAUTIFUL! It's not that any one spot is the best in the world; it's more that you drive along, hour after hour, and every single moment it looks like a scene from a postcard. It's impossible to make any progress, because we keep stopping to enjoy places. Pancake Bay and the Sand River were especially nice stops.

The towns of northwest Ontario have a sort of back-in-time feel, in a good way - like the greedy 80's and delusions-of-grandeur 90's and paranoid 2000's never happened. There are lots of hitchhikers here (we'd take one if we weren't in a two-seater). The houses are very not-ostentatious - I've read that American incomes are higher than Canadian on average, but I suspect that Americans pour every dime of the difference and more into their houses, hoping that people will be impressed. Here, houses are for living in, not for showing off. (I think they do their showing-off with four-wheelers.)

Similarly, the hotel we're in (Beaver Motel) has a very pleasantly aged feel, clean and in good shape, but unmodern and unsophisticated - comforting, like staying at your aunt's house. There's a very friendly motel cat, too. But it's got wireless internet. Best of both worlds.

OK, I'm a border kid full of Canadian blood, so I'm probably not an impartial judge. But I'd really like to take this trip again, next time over a whole month...

Iranian president Ahmadinejad has explained to Iranians that Western countries - not (of course!) Iranians - are behind the green protest movement

This is a scandal. President Obama, if our Mass Hypnosis Satellites are capable of sending hundreds of thousands of Iranians into the streets, believing (ridiculously) that they are angry at their government, then why haven't we used the satellites to get a few Pashtuns to turn over bin Laden? Or to end the war in Iraq?

This is an unacceptable waste of our nation's sinister mind-control resources. I call for an immediate Congressional investigation. The President must be held accountable for his poor stewardship of our nation's techno-occult assets.

I get to go visit my family in Minnesota in July...

even better, I get to do what I've dreamed of every single time: take a little extra time and go north, around the Ontario side of Lake Superior, camping at least once en route.

Soooo happy!

The only thing that would top this would be riding an ore boat from Toledo to Duluth. I've got to find some taconite shipping company executives to suck up to.

Trying to plan the annual pilgrimage to northern Minnesota... I want so badly to get there by lake. Alas, passenger travel on the Great Lakes just doesn't exist anymore. I'm so very, very tempted to stow away on an ore boat...

You've probably heard about Dr. Tiller's murder in Wichita.

I'm pro-life (or, if you prefer, "anti-choice", "anti-woman", etc.) and trying to figure out what to do. Most of the pro-choice folks I read are suggesting donations to Planned Parenthood as a response. I'm sorry, I can't get on board with that. I'm open to suggestions... maybe a donation to Dr. Tiller's church?

It's true that there are kinds of speech which, though legal, though not technically part of a crime, though they won't be interpreted as invitations to murder by most hearers, nonetheless create a psychological atmosphere in which the unstable are more likely to commit murder. We recognize that, if a Wahhabist Islamic mullah preaches about how God really should strike Americans down - but he can't personally encourage terrorism - well, he's encouraging terrorism. Not legally, but morally, and he doesn't care. This is no different. Yes, you can always claim "but I didn't tell anyone to commit murder!" Legally, that will keep you out of jail. There are things which are legal but immoral.

I don't think the nation needs to work out a legal way to address this. I do think that the pro-life movement, and any other movement that hopes to avoid moral bankruptcy, need to figure out how to say what we believe and what we oppose clearly without setting the stage for violence - not even among the lunatic fringe. Even the insane are not immune to the opinions around them. There's a bell curve, in this as in all things, and that last 0.1% figures out where to stand based on where the 1% and 5% and 10% stand.

It's tricky, because when "duking it out" over abortion, it's more convenient if we assume that the good guys and bad guys line up on opposite sides. The truth is, there are people who are pro-choice because of genuine compassion, and people who are pro-life because of genuine compassion. There are also people who are pro-choice because they don't think poor people deserve living babies, and people who are pro-life because they think babies are good punishment for sexual misdeeds. There are people who are genuinely horrified at this murder, and there are people saying "well of course it's wrong BUT", and the former must divorce themselves from the latter. If you think you need to "win" the abortion "war", you start making alliances with people whose motives are pretty dark. Can you force those people to behave themselves? No... but you can reshuffle your priorities; preserving alliances within the movement isn't the most important thing, after all. You can tell Operation Rescue and Bill O'Reilly that they're doing it wrong and you don't want their support - and not wait for someone to die to say it. (As I just did; I haven't been keeping up with them). That's worth upsetting an alliance over. After all - if it is undertaken for God's sake - do you honestly think politically expedient moral compromises will help?

Did I mention that I now own a scythe?

Well, I do. For real. A scythe. And I use it. Woo!

Not as clumsy or random as a weed whacker... an elegant landscaping tool from a more civilized age.